Well now I have been looking at some pictures of people I knew from High School over on la Face, and I have to say that many of them are not holding up so well. There is an occasional person who has aged surprisingly well, but on the whole they appear to take their comforts seriously and often. Not that I am judging mind you, just observing. (The Presbyter was always good with that line.)
Your’s truly, on the other hand, has stood the test of time rather well. Except that the eye has gotten worse and that can kind of freak a person out, but other than that, rather well if I do say so myself. So what, you ask, is the secret to my youthful pallor? Running, obviously. Running keeps the pores open through the process of perspiration. When one sweats the abhorrently copious amounts that I do, one has very open pores.
And since everyone knows that alcohol is an astringent, I do not put it on or in my face. Nor do I treat my epidermis with a cannabis sativa infusion, although it turns out that he of the much exposed yet healthy skin, Ukiah Morrison, now purveys that treatment. In fact, not running and ingesting a fair amount of booze and pot may make a person look like Emma Watson for all I know.
I do not look like Emma Watson. Or the male equivalent of Emma Watson. In fact, someone compared me to Robert Downey Jr. the other day which blows holes in the no drugs theory. But all of that is beside the point. The point is this: some of the people I went to high school with are looking rough. R O U G H. While I may not be all that — or since I am most certainly not all that — I do not look that damn bad and it makes me feel good.
Who are you, and why are you using my name in your article? Forgive me if I don’t understand. I am not even sure if anyone gets your reference to me. Certainly I have been the butt of many jokes, but if this is a joke, what then is the punch? Do you and I know one another? Curious.
Well, hello! It’s been a while since I posted this, but I don’t think I was making fun. I believe I was trying to connect with other people who had memories of your time in Asheville. The joke, if there is one, is that here 15 or so years later, we who are old enough to remember your skin are old enough to need serious skin care products today.