I feel myself getting fatter. Literally, with each Combo I eat, my ass gets wider. The pants that I bought to replace the pants that I bought to replace the pants that I bought are tightening around my hips like a Burmese Python wrapping around an injured Boy Scout in the Everglades. I know how this trend may be reversed, but I’m not sure how to start reversing this trend. Putting down the Combos might be a good start.
Is it wrong that I know all six retailers that offer Jalapeno Cheddar Tortilla Combos within a 5 mile radius of where my fat ass sits right now? (Ok, I cheated and used the Combos website, but that is even more shameful in a way.) If it is any consolation – to whomever – I do drink a Diet Coke whilst eating my Combos. That makes it healthy, right? Plus, Combos have that delishous and nutrichous mix of cheese (a wholesome dairy product) and cracker (no calories, because they are crackers) which provides a well balanced mid-day meal, right? All right, well, at least they are not Doritos.