Got me a farm and I got my old fiddle

It’s amazing what a little chicken wire will do for a cucumber vine. Of course, we don’t call it “chicken wire” any more because, apparently, the chickens have a lobby. We call it “poultry mesh” but we all know it is chicken wire. Although, now that I think about it, it really is not fair to chickens, because chickens have not been eating the tender little shoots in my garden for the last two year. Well, it is unlikely that it has been chickens. It is likely that rabbits have been eating our shit.

Not actual feces, of course, but the plants. In the garden. Rabbits have been eating our plants. Probably the hostas too, because those things don’t grow worth a damn in our yard and they grow anywhere. So I’m blaming that on the rabbits too. They are totally responsible for the veggies though, and the chicken mesh or pullet fencing or whatever you want to call it has kept them out lo these many long days. Probably two weeks. Three max. Time goes by pretty fast when you are working your fingers to the bone.

But not so much that I can’t go out there every night and spread a little water from the water barrel on the plants. (Yes, that is a self-righteous tone you hear.) The water is RIGHT THERE and the plants are RIGHT THERE and so watering is a PIECE of CAKE. And the weeding too. Which I have found is easier to do when the weeds just get a little bit bigger. So there are some baby weeds hanging out in there thinking they are going to be the one — they are going to make it.

But they will not. Not unless they are hiding beneath the Roma plant which is blowing up. Or out, like when I tried to grow my hair long in college. That was a mess and so is this Roma plant. But it has three tomatoes on it already, so that ain’t bad. The zucchini is getting it on too. All those flowers are almost obscene. Plus that spiky stalk is something else, and I wonder if the zucchini knows how lucky it is to be there because growing zucchini is a little like retweeting Michael Ian Black in that it is easy enough to do but it seems like the produce just keeps coming at you.

Not the best analogy. Let’s move on. The great thing about the Roma plant, not to mention the Brandywine and the Cherokee Purple, is that they smell like tomato plants. As if they were going to smell like Glade? I don’t know, but that’s a unique smell. And the basil literally gets bigger every day. I may cut it just to keep it from going to seed or something, but without the tomatoes there is not a whole lot of use for it yet.

There is absolutely no use for the weeds growing up around the garden, which given the presence of the weed block should really not be there. Perhaps the composting mulch on top of the weed block discourages them. In any event, the weeds are big enough (see above) to be easily pulled and come out with a delightful “schloosh!” What’s left is nice, back earth. Maybe I should put some peonies in there or something.