All this talk about Buick Enclaves has me wondering what Tiger Woods is up to. Turns out, nothing. He has quit the tour again, as of today. What are the chances that he does that on the very day — THE VERY DAY — I decide to google him? That’s right, 1 in 23,839,057,103,526,497,336.395. Perhaps that was an exaggeration. Who can really figure something like that down to the thousandth place?
Not that I am not up for it. There’s nothing like a burning resentment toward a professional golfer that will get me into running actuarial tables like a mad man. (Sorry, I know that you are thinking “Again with the exaggerations?” I am no John Hamm and would not pretend to be. Also, he is no Danica McKeller when it comes to math. But I digress.) What, what could possibly lead an anonymous blogger to such levels of statistical rage?
It has to do with the fact that Tiger’s friends cut a big freaking swath across the mountain that I look at every day and the chances of that being translated into some sort of economic booty for the people who live around me — people who could use a little booty these days — are now longer than my chances of googling Tiger Woods on the day he quits the tour again.
Let’s face it, if Tiger doesn’t start winning like Charlie and soon, people are going to lose interest totally. Yes, he was phenomenal. Even I could tell that. He was. Now he’s just a face on a billboard below a gash across the mountain side. This was supposed to be the best managed project in the country. A rising tide that would life all boats. See, what inspired us?