No, it’s not old-school amateur porn. It’s wrestling. Ok, so maybe it is old-school amateur porn. I was old-school once, and amateur too, though never pornographic. Not as far as I know. I was a wrestler though. Briefly, but longer than I was a Boy Scout. Not long enough to be recruited into an alternative lifestyle apparently, but that is not a great loss for the alternatives, I suspect.
I did wrestle long enough to get my head screwed up. The psychological damage was, of course, done well before the physiological injury. The physiological damage was still really real. It was done by a boy who I think was named “Chris” although I am not sure. I thought I was a better wrestler than “Chris” but somehow I kept finding myself face down on a rubber mat with his hand laced under my arm and around the back of my neck.
This is a type of grappling hold known as a “joint lock.” Specifically, this joint lock belongs to the subcategory known as “spinal locks.” This particular spinal lock is thought to have been named for Lord Horatio Nelson. It is known as the “half-nelson.” The full nelson is an illegal move because that shit can kill you. The half nelson can only cause dislocation and possible long term injury.
Which is how I found myself in a chiropractor’s office on Friday. It’s not that I have debilitating pain, but I do have constant pain. Also, I know what happened and that it has not improved substantially over the last quarter century. My assumption is that it will only get worse. When I came back today, the doctor confirmed what I already knew, to wit: my head is on wrong. He promises he can get it back right. I’ll keep you posted.