We tend to think, what with the Tea Partiers and the Occupiers, that America has somehow cornered the market on wingnuts; however, I’m not sure that we have even scratched the surface of wingnuttery. The funny thing about Borat, for instance, is that Khazaks really are batty. Their president is building a whole new capital in the middle of the steppe. Aside from allowing us to use the term “steppe” again, what is the point of that crap? Hard to tell.
Move a little west and you get the Polish. I went to school with some Polish dudes, and not kids from Milwaulkee. They weren’t stupid like the Poles in Polish jokes. In fact, I think they were brilliant. But they were strange. Not unlike the Poles who applied for a permit to hold a special event at the Pyramids today. Yes, those Pyramids. In Egypt.
The Poles wanted to make a 120 person human chain around the Great Pyramid. This was somehow supposed to protect either humanity or the pyramid on the occasion of the return of the extraterrestrial contractors who built the thing in the first place. Turns out that they are not quite finished, but they’ve been taking calls in their truck parked out by Saturn for the last 4,500 years.
And in the meantime, we decided to start measuring the passage of time based on the reign of our soveriegns. Then some dudes got super religious and measured everything based on one guy, maybe. (See, Jesus was born probably somewhere around 3 BC, which is truly mindblowing if you think about it. Like, really think about it man.) And then the Pope decided to mix it up again and may have cut out a couple of centuries (according to another set of wingnuts.)
So the whole point is that 11/11/11 can’t really have any true significance because it is totally random. Space contractors in pre-historic Egypt would have absolutely no connection to the date. Why are a bunch of Polish wingnuts so riled up about a day that would not exist if it weren’t for a pontif who was good at chanting and bad at math. They’re missing the whole point. This day is about Nigel.