Do you know who the Amalekites were? I certainly do not. Perhaps they are lost to history, because said story is written by the winners. The Amalekites were losers, baby. They lost to Joshua, which is to say that they lost to God. God loves him so ass whopping Israelites, don’t you know. Especially in Old Testament days. There always seemed to be a catch, however.
When it came to openning a can on the Amalekites, it came down to arms. And by “arms” I mean the hugging kind. For some reason, ole Elohim only let Joshua win while Moses’s arms were raised. When he got tired and put him arms down, the Israelites would start losing. Moses got a little tired, what with all the arm raising. I can dig that.
I got a special pillow from the neck cracker. This item is to pillow as rice cake is to food. You can put it in the category because there is just no where else for it to go. I hang my neck over this thing and then strap down my head. It’s less comfortable than it looks. Plus to tweet or blog or whatever, I have to hold my phone up over my head. That’ll make your arms tired. Just ask Moses.