For days, the predicted weather has been gloom and doom, and I was determined to run long and prosper on Saturday no matter what Zeus was unleashing. Almost no matter. I will not run in lightening, but not so heavy rain is fine. In order to re-enforce my badassness, I planned to wear the Monkey shirt and a black pair of running pants so that the full effect would be somewhat Sith-like, or maybe like Luke at the end of “The Empire Strikes Back.” Either way, you would know I was tough because I would be out there in the nasty weather running in very slimming black.
So you can imagine my surprise and disappointment when the rosy fingers of dawn spread across cerulean skies. The temperature was a few degrees below where I thought it would be, throwing doubt into my wardrobe plans. Did Luke change his wardrobe even though he knew it would be cold hanging from the bottom of Cloud City? No. Did Darth Vader ever change his clothes under any circumstances? No. Ok then, I’m going.
Since Tallulah had a school make up day today, I dropped her off and headed for the W both to park and later to shower. Having lost the bravado of running in the rain, I decided to make up for it with a return to the site of last fall’s hill of horror’s, the Citizen-Times half marathon course. I picked my way through Altamont’s version of the Garden District in New Orleans, and wound through the UNC Altamont campus. After about 5 miles, my route fell on to the half marathon route as it curves beside Beaver Lake.
At this point, it would be refreshing to add some details about the lake’s glassy surface or the rustling of the breeze through the stately hemlocks, but the steely gray skies and the muddy run-off from the week’s rains did not paint such a tableau. Instead there was running to be done, up to the top of old Burnsville Hill. My original thought had been to practice the ascent of Lookout Road, but it was now apparent that today’s lesson would be about going down hills too. Descending is hard on the thighs, and I don’t like it; however, the muffin top removal project seems to have an added side benefit of improving the going downhill experience.
As Lennon and McCartney taught us, “when you get to the bottom you go back to the top,” and no sooner had I recovered from the descent than I began to climb Lookout. Aside from being long, and at times steep, the biggest problem with this hill is that it has numerous false summits. The last one really requires the hermeneutics of Rabbi Kushner to grasp why it mocks the runner in the way it does. Nevertheless, it was good to revisit the mountain before the next halfie because hermeneutical discourse is not suited to race day.
Such reflections are better pursued on a day like today, with a nice long run under one’s belt. Being in posession of such a belt, I reflected that today’s route was good preparation for the Monkey, what with the hills I ran today. Alas, 522 feet of climbing are not nothing, but the Monkey eats those up in the first five miles. A quick review of the Monkey course spells it out in startling detail: 3,328 feet of total elevation gain. That doesn’t even include going down hill. Only an idiot would sign up for that.