That is one creepy ass spider right there y’all. It lives in my yard. Or garden. There’s not always a good way to distinguish between the two. This guy lives in both of them, spans the two. He weirds me out like a motherfucker. The internet says he’s harmless, beneficial even. I don’t know. Look at his wife:
I don’t actually know that they are married, but I do believe that she is preggers and that kind of leads me to believe that he knocked her up. Again, don’t have to be married to do that, but he hasn’t run away yet either. Of course, it’s hard to tell if she’s actually pregnant. That’s not a polite thing to ask a spider.