First of all, is “Biz Stone” really Biz Stone’s name? What kind of stage name is that? As contrived as “Rock Hudson,” that’s what kind of stage name that is. Plus which, it sounds like something someone would have to go to the doctor and get zapped with an ultrasound machine. Either that or stock up on the cranberry juice babies! In any case, he had to name his invention “Twitter” to get us all focused on that and not worrying so much about his lame stage name.
Except that is all we have to go with now, because “Biz Stone” is retiring. Re. Tire. Ing. (No, not the sponsor of the New York City Marathon, the suffix.) That’s fine. I’m cool with retirees. Some of my best friends have retired. And say what you will about SAS shoes, those things are easy to get on and they keep the dogs from barkin’. Not that “Biz Stone” needs any of that. Because he is 37. Thir. Tee. Seven.
I’m ok with the fact that I’m older than almost everyone who plays in the NCAA and, for that matter, the NFL, and most of the Major Leagues, and hell even a lot of pro golfers are younger than me. And don’t even get me started on that little over-achiever Jesus who was already dead at this point. My deal is this: I sit in a chair all day. “Biz Stone” sits in a chair all day. What makes him think he can stop doing it all of a sudden? Several billion dollars? Whatever.