It’s not that I want to tell people what to do. I simply want everyone to follow the rules. If they need help with the rules, I will be happy to provide such help. Because I know the rules. Let’s start with the driving.
Everyone is pretty clear on the going. Keep to the right, just like fish stick day in 3rd grade. Stopping is a different issue. The big white line is not a suggestion; it is there for a reason. The two little while lines after the one big white ones are not the place to center your front tires or to practice your track stand for that matter. Turn down the Band of Horses and back your wheeled vehicle out of my pedestrian walkway.
Speaking of pedestrians, the long cold winter seems to have deprived some of our Altamont ambulists of their muscle memory. Sidewalks are expensive. Don’t be ungrateful. Use the ribbon of concrete. Same goes for the two little white lines. I stood up for you with the dipshit on a fixed gear, so do your part and stay in the lines.
Again, I’m not saying these things because I think I know better than most. I say them because it seems as if I know more than most. If everyone knew these things, they would naturally do them right? It’s enough to make me want to go all Wayne Brady on a fool.