So let’s talk about people in positions of petty authority. And by petty I do not mean small, although there is nothing wrong with being small. What I mean are people who have the initial responsibility of implementing the rules which are concocted by people of higher authority. Like when I was in college and I was an RA (which probably meant residence assistant? or was it residents’ assistant? Sounds pretty much the same.) My job was to be the first person to implement the rules which were made up by the Dean of Students and the student government. Not to confuse things, but I was on the student government too, so that’s sketchy. The Dean of Students was also known to advise LSD users to switch to mushrooms because they were “more mellow” and cocaine was out while pot was fine. That’s sketchy. But anyway, in my role as RA, I was supposed to implement policies made up by someone else. Of course, drunk college freshmen don’t really give a damn about who made the rules, they get pissed at the person implementing them. They get especially pissed if they get busted for things other people do not normally get busted for. They are doubly (or maybe we are up to triplely? Tripoli? no, no … thrice!) They are thrice pissed if they believe they are unjustly accused of a crime they did not commit. Righteous indignation is the life’s blood of the freshman dorm.
And cable television, of course. You kind of expect it from a Bill O’Rielly or Keith Olberman but not so much from Alexi Lalas or any one of those funny-speaking dudes who announce World Cup games for ESPN. Nobody was paying a whole lot of attention to those guys until the whistle hear around the world. Why was it heard around the world? Because it went against an American team. Showing ourselves to be the Frosh in a world of 4th Year futboll teams, the American nation has taken up righteous indignation over the shitty call near the end of the Slovenia game. Yeah, I said it. Shitty call. It was awful. So what? Do we really need to be reminded that sometimes calls get blown? The whole thing seems to be dying down, but the blood lust for the official’s FIFA credentials seems not to have abated. So he probably blew a call. Why does this entitle us to so much rage at him in particular and the officials in general?
And while we are talking about unwarranted rage at petty officials, what’s up with the shirts printed with “Altamont Police Department” and a picture of Mickey Mouse giving the Jersey Salute? Especially since these shirts seem to be sported by late-middle aged men who have not, shall we say, maintained their youthful vigor. If you’re going to insult a cop, you should at least be able to make the pretense of outrunning him. It’s not all that hard to outrun most cops. On foot. So I have been told. Anyway, what’s with the rage, pasty middle aged men? What have the APD done to you except protect the sanctity of your beer festivals so that you may pass out with little fear of having your pocket picked? Chances are that any negative encounter you may have had with them came as the result of your having violated a federal, state, county, or municipal ordinance. And if you get written up again, you won’t be able to vote for King of the Winter Carnival. So watch it!