So, I’m watching this with Tallulah because she saw a reference to it in “Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel.” Praise be to Jesus that I have never seen “Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel” because that is why He gave us DVD players, road trips, and head phones. When Tallulah started singing “Single Ladies” around the house, however, I started to get concerned. I got really concerned when she started to sing “Freak Like Me” and figured that maybe Beyonce is not such a bad role model after all.
Anyway, we are watching the video and she is all like, “those outfits are kind of inappropriate papa,” and I’m all like, “they must spend a fortune on chiropractors.” Seriously, look at what they are doing to their backs there. Spinal subluxations are no joke people. The way they swing those hips around could cause serious damage to the lumbar vertebrae. The nerves coming out of there are responsible for renal and lower gastrointestinal functions. You do not DO NOT want to mess around with that stuff.
It’s a terrible example for children. I don’t want my daughter to become overly dependent on any man, be he a suitor, a man on her hips, or a chiropractor. Rather than teach her to demand a material symbol of commitment, I want Tallulah to demand the real thing. And to exact the appropriate recompense: