Piece goods in our time

So here is the deal with Israel.  We are going there.  What did you think I was going to say, that we should have a two state solution or something?  What the hell do I know about that?  Nothing, although I might find something out in the next couple of weeks.  Not likely to figure it out in that amount of time, though am I?  We shall see, because I am a quick study and think highly of my own opinions so maybe I’ll get that New Yorker profile after all.

First, however, I have to figure out what to pack for a wedding in Israel.  This is an evening wedding, involving at least some people from New Jersey.  What I mean by this is that there will be dressed up kind of people.  Did you think I was something about New Jersey and Israel?  Anti-Semite.  I just want to look good is all.  And fit in.  Always have to fit in.

See, the last international wedding I attended was in Thailand.  As a matter of fact, I think that was the last wedding I have been to period, which is good because these things are getting expensive.  But anyway, a lot of the wedding party got suits made there.  I probably should have done that because you got like 3 suits for $50 or something.  At $16.66, how bad could a suit be?  Anyway, I didn’t do it and wound up being the only one without a suit.  That’s a lonely place to be.

Suits in Israel would be, I imagine, the real deal.  They may be cheaper in the West Bank.  Maybe that’s the whole problem.  Maybe the Palestinians are all walking around in suits so the Israelis feel bad and out of place.  Not that they don’t belong in Israel.  How could you even think that?  Anti-Semite.  Anyway, what I need to do is figure out how to get some formal looking clothes to the Middle East without sacrificing too much luggage space.  If I get it figured, I’ll tell the Israelis and then they can all take trips to Thailand and come back with suits and not feel bad about the Palestinians being dressed up.  Yes, King Olaf, I can take your call now.