So, I’m a little OCD. Or more than a little. Not too much, because I still have skin on my hands, but enough that this video makes me really, really happy. Stop me if I have told you this one before, but I have a thing about washing my hands. More to the point, I want you to think that I’m the kind of person who washes his hands. At least, I want you to think I wash my hands most of the time because sometimes, when you get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, washing your hands is just a little bit too much. As far as you are concerned, however, I have washed my hands almost immediately prior to our interaction, ok?
Ok. It hasn’t always been so easy. I was once out with some friends. Relatively new friends. This was probably one of the first times we had hung out. I wanted them to think well of me. I wanted them to think I was the kind of guy who would wash his hands after he used the bathroom. I got up to go use the bathroom at one point. I was in the Haywood Park hotel, where the lobby bathroom is quite small. It’s pretty much you, the toilet and the sink. Heaven help the fat man who needs to wipe. But I digress. We were talking about my being in this bathroom with the sink and the toilet and I had “done my business” and now had to figure out one thing: how long did I need to stay in the bathroom before I could exit with people thinking I had washed my hands? And what was I to do to pass that time? Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks and all my problems were solved. If I want people to think I’m the kind of guy who washes his hands after he uses the restroom, I should wash my hands after I use the restroom. It’s the best way to pass the time as I wait for a sufficient period to pass so that I can exit.
And, I don’t have to waste paper towels anymore either!